Uncover Cariati's Hidden Gem: Palazzo Mascambruno B&B!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into Palazzo Mascambruno B&B in Cariati, Italy. Forget those cookie-cutter hotel reviews, because I'm coming at you raw, real, and possibly a bit sleep-deprived, after a few too many glasses of the local vino. Consider this your one-stop-shop of the honest-to-god truth about this hidden gem, sprinkled with a healthy dose of my own brand of chaotic charm.
First Impressions: The Grand Entrance (and My Awkward Shuffle)
Right, so Cariati itself is gorgeous. Seriously, the kind of place where you want to chuck your phone away and just be. Getting to Palazzo Mascambruno felt like stumbling onto a whispered secret. The palazzo itself? Breathtaking. It's that old-world Italian beauty, dripping with… well, history. And let's be honest, it's probably seen more than a few tourists (and possibly a ghost or two).
Accessibility – Navigating the Maze (or, My Quest for the Elevator)
Okay, let's get real for a sec. I'm not in a wheelchair, but I am sometimes a klutz. Palazzo Mascambruno is NOT the easiest place to maneuver if you have mobility issues. While there's an elevator, it's one of those charming, antique ones that tests your faith in engineering. Don't expect super wide hallways or automatic doors. Facilities for disabled guests are listed, but I highly recommend contacting the B&B before you book to clarify exactly what’s available and how accessible the specific room you're eyeing is for you. This is Italy, things are often… well, let's just say they're "character-filled."
Internet: Pray for the Connection (and Maybe Pack a Book)
Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Yes! Theoretically. In reality, the internet was… let’s call it “temperamental.” Great if you're trying to truly disconnect. Less great if you’re trying to run a business from your laptop. There’s also Internet [LAN], but I doubt it's faster. They did have Internet services, so you can technically get online, just don’t expect to stream Netflix in 4K. Wi-Fi in public areas was a bit better, but still, embrace the possibility of a digital detox.
The Pampering Paradise (Or, My Near-Death Experience with a Body Wrap)
Okay, this is where things get interesting. Spa/sauna, Steamroom, and a Swimming pool [outdoor] with a view? Yes, please! I was particularly excited about the Body wrap. Let me tell you, it was… intense. I thought I was going to be mummified in seaweed. But, in the end, it was a truly bizarre and wonderful experience. My skin felt amazing afterward, even if I spent the next hour trying to peel seaweed out of my hair. They also have a Fitness center but I’m pretty sure I’d be terrible. Apparently there’s Foot bath, Gym/fitness, Massage, Pool with view. Honestly, just go for it! Carpe Diem, right? Honestly, this is the highlight - a seriously good excuse for self-care.
Room Realities: The Good, the Quirky, and the “Is This Really a Bed?”
My room? It. Was. Amazing. (Okay, maybe I’ve had a glass or two of wine) The Air conditioning was a godsend (especially after that body wrap!), the Daily housekeeping was impeccable, and I loved having the Coffee/tea maker and the Refrigerator. Free bottled water was a nice touch.
Oh, and the bed? HUGE. A seriously Extra long bed, perfect for sprawling out after a day of wandering. My room also had a little Seating area, a Desk for those work-related tasks, and a Mirror to admire my post-seaweed glow. The Satellite/cable channels were a bonus (even if I didn’t watch much TV). The Bathroom was clean and modern. I mean, who doesn't like a Private bathroom? The Additional toilet was a bonus!
My room also had Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Complimentary tea, Desk, Extra long bed, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens.
However, getting to the rooms often involves some meandering through the palazzo's maze of hallways. Embrace it! It’s part of the charm.
Dining, Drinking & Snacking: The Pasta, the Prosecco, and My Quest for the Perfect Cannoli
Okay, food. The REAL reason we travel, right? Breakfast [buffet] was included, and it was decent. Not gourmet, but with a good selection. A Breakfast takeaway service is great if you are in a hurry. They also offer Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, a la carte in restaurant, Alternative meal arrangement, Bar, Bottle of water, Breakfast service, Buffet in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop, Desserts in restaurant, Happy hour, International cuisine in restaurant, Poolside bar, Restaurants, Room service [24-hour], Salad in restaurant, Snack bar, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant. The Restaurants are the heart of Cariati so don't miss the opportunity to eat like a local! The Room service [24-hour] - a bonus.
I devoured pasta and had some amazing desserts. I found a Vegetarian restaurant to be a pleasant surprise. Coffee/tea in restaurant was a staple! I’m not going to pretend to be a food critic, but everything was fresh, flavorful, and authentically Italian.
The Hygiene & Safety Tango (Because 2024, am I right?)
Cleanliness and safety are taken seriously. Plenty of Hand sanitizer readily available. The staff is clearly trained. Daily disinfection in common areas and Rooms sanitized between stays. They also offer Anti-viral cleaning products, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items.
Things to Do (Besides Eating…Though That’s a Solid Plan)
Cariati is all about slowing down. You are there to experience the culture through your senses! The Things to do are just that: relaxing.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things That Make a Big Difference
Services and conveniences - the staff is amazing. They're genuinely helpful, although my Italian is… well, let's just say pointing and gesturing is a universal language. They offer Air conditioning in public area, Audio-visual equipment for special events, Babysitting service, Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center.. They organized a taxi to the airport (Airport transfer). There is Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging station, Taxi service, Valet parking, Available in all rooms, Additional toilet, Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens.
For the Kids
Babysitting service is available. Family/child friendly, they do care and are aware of kids' needs. Kids facilities, Kids meal.
Bottom Line: Should You Book?
Look, Palazzo Mascambruno B&B isn't perfect. It has quirks, its internet can be hit-or-miss, and it isn
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Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into my attempted Italian paradise, aka my stay at the Palazzo Mascambruno B&B in Cariati, Italy. Let's call it… the almost-perfect Calabrian chaos.
Day 1: Arrival and the "Lost Luggage Labyrinth"
- 5:00 AM (Yes, I know): Alarm blares. HATE alarm noises. But, Italy! Gotta push through. Airport shuttle, bleary-eyed and clutching a questionable cappuccino from the gas station - the fuel of a thousand anxieties.
- 9:00 AM: Landed in Lameizia Terme. Beautiful sun, but… my luggage? MIA. Apparently, it’s enjoying an extended vacation in… somewhere. Cue the internal freak-out. "This is going to be an Italian adventure" I told myself, forcing a smile for the airport employee.
- 10:00 AM – 11:00 AM: Rental car pick-up. Another adventure. Eventually sorted the car, which, thankfully, smelled of nothing but Italian sunshine (thank god).
- 11:00 AM – 1:00 PM: The drive. Holy moly. Google Maps versus Italian road signs? Italian road signs won, every time. I swear, I took a wrong turn onto a goat path at one point. There was shouting. There was near-miss maneuvering. But. The scenery! Rolling hills, olive groves shimmering, the freaking sea. Beautiful. And terrifying.
- 1:00 PM: Arrive at Palazzo Mascambruno. OMFG. Stunning. Actually, breathtaking. The photos didn't do it nearly justice. A crumbling, sun-baked palace, all faded grandeur and hidden courtyards. Signora (the owner of the B&B, and a force of nature) greeted me with a hug and a "Benvenuta!". It was so genuine it almost made me cry. Until I remembered my lost luggage. Still.
- 1:30 PM – 3:00 PM: Check-in, unpack (what I have, which is… a toothbrush and the clothes on my back), stare longingly at the beautiful room (with the most ridiculously high ceilings) and try not to picture my missing suitcase. Decide to walk the town.
- 3:00 PM – 5:00 PM: Cariati exploration. Cobblestone streets, old men playing cards (literally, I swear), cats everywhere. Finding my way felt like an obstacle course of narrow alleyways, with the occasional scooter buzzing past you. The church was beautiful, especially from the top of a nearby hill.
- 5:00 PM – 6:00 PM: Panic buy. A new pair of shoes and a very unflattering t-shirt to save face. I may be Italian-less but I was making sure that a fresh set of clothes would stop me from falling apart, at least.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at a little trattoria recommended by Signora. Amazing. The pasta, the wine, the conversations with the other locals who were trying out both English and Italian. I could barely understand them. The waiter’s grandma was playing the accordion! It was pure, unadulterated joy. Forget the lost luggage, I was in heaven.
- 9:00 PM: Crawl to bed, exhausted and exhilarated. Hopeful for tomorrow. And, secretly, still hoping my luggage materialized overnight.
Day 2: The Coast, The Calamari, and The Crushing Reality of My Cooking Skills
- 8:00 AM: Breakfast. Freshly baked bread, local cheeses, and a conversation with Signora about everything and nothing. She's a gossip queen, in the best possible way.
- 9:00 AM: Decision time: beach it or explore it? HELL YES to the beach. So I drove, again. And yes, Google Maps threw in another goat path. The coast was a revelation. Crystal-clear water, soft sand, and… hardly anyone there. The sun warmed your skin and it felt like heaven.
- 11:00 AM – 1:00 PM: Beach bumming. Swimming. Reading. Attempting to look effortlessly chic (failed miserably - sunburnt nose, sand everywhere).
- 1:00 PM: Lunch at a beachside chiringuito. Ordered grilled calamari. It arrived, perfectly grilled. I ate it. It was… the best calamari I've ever tasted. I could taste the fresh sea air. Utter perfection.
- 2:00 PM - 4:00 PM: Back to the Palazzo. Cooking class! Signora's the expert, and I'm… well, I'm me. Let's just say my previous cooking experience did not extend beyond boiling an egg and microwaving a pizza.
- 4:00 PM - 6:00 PM: Cooking… attempt. Signora was patient. (Bless her heart.) We were making pasta from scratch – easy, right? Wrong. My pasta was shaped like a sad, misshapen amoeba. The sauce – passable, I guess. But, when we sat down to eat, it was a hilarious disaster. Even my non-existent cooking skills could not ruin the food! The food was amazing, and the laughter kept all the cooking spirits up.
- 7:00 PM: Post-cooking class debrief. Wine. More wine. Signora tells another story (I definitely didn't understand all of it, but the gist was gold: a scandal involving a priest, a donkey, and a whole lot of tomatoes).
- 8:00 PM: Still, more wine. The idea of Italian living was sinking in.
- 9:00 PM: Bed. Exhausted, full of pasta, and utterly, irrevocably, in love with Calabria. (But still silently cursing my lost suitcase.)
Day 3: Palazzo Secrets, Hidden Courtyards and A Final, Emotional Goodbye
- 8:00 AM: Final breakfast. One last look at the palace. One last hug from Signora.
- 9:00 AM - 11:00 AM: Exploring the Palazzo’s secret places. Signora unlocks a secret room and a hidden balcony. I'm wandering in a dream.
- 11:00 AM - 12:00 PM: Time to leave. Oh, and guess what? STILL NO LUGGAGE. I'm starting to accept my fate, and it's probably for the better.
- 12:00 PM: Say goodbyes. The real goodbye? A wave of sentimentality that almost brings tears to my eyes. Signora gives me a gift of local dried peppers and a promise to come back.
- 1:00 PM: Drive to the airport. A beautiful drive!
- 2:00 PM: Saying goodbye to Italy.
Post-Trip Ramblings:
So, Cariati and Palazzo Mascambruno? It was messy, imperfect, and utterly unforgettable. My Italian trip was a beautiful disaster. I learned a little Italian, ate a lot of pasta (and calamari), and discovered that a lost suitcase doesn't matter when you find a bit of paradise.
Next time, I’m bringing two suitcases. One for clothes. One for cheese. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll learn how to make pasta that doesn’t resemble a deformed alien.
Arrivederci, Italy. You beautiful, crazy, sun-drenched place. Until next time!
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Uncover Cariati's Hidden Gem: Palazzo Mascambruno B&B - FAQs (Because You *Need* to Know!)
Okay, spill it. Is Palazzo Mascambruno *really* as amazing as everyone says?
What's the vibe like? Is it stuffy or relaxed? Will I feel out of place if I speak zero Italian?
Tell me about the rooms! Are they actually *palace* rooms?
Breakfast! What's the breakfast situation like? Is it the standard continental fare?
Okay, but Cariati itself… is there anything *to do* there, or am I going to be bored out of my skull?
What are the downsides, if any? Because there *must* be some, right?
Is it accessible? Specifically, how are the rooms for someone with mobility issues?
Should I book it? Is it *worth it*?
Okay, *one more thing*. Is it *really* haunted? I saw some rumors...
