Apollo Hotel JHB: Your Luxurious South African Escape Awaits!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the sparkling, sometimes slightly murky, world of the Apollo Hotel JHB! Forget those sterile, overly-polished reviews – I'm here to give you the real deal. Think more "laid-back chat with your travel-obsessed friend" and less "corporate PR speak."
Apollo Hotel JHB: Your South African Sanctuary (Maybe, Just Maybe?)
Alright, let's get this show on the road. First things first: Accessibility. This is hugely important, folks, so here's the deal as best I could glean (and it's a review, remember, not a definitive accessibility report, so take it with a grain of salt). They say they have facilities for disabled guests. Now, that could mean anything from a few ramps to, you know, actual thoughtfully designed rooms. I'd call ahead and grill them on the specifics. Demand details. And, a big plus: they do have an elevator, a basic requirement for true accessibility.
Rooms: Your Personal Bubble (Hopefully Bug-Free?)
Okay, so, the rooms. Let's get down and dirty, shall we? They claim to have everything. Seriously, the list is longer than my grocery list:
- Available in all rooms: (Deep breath) Air conditioning, alarm clock, bathrobes (yes!), bathroom phone (who uses those?!), bathtub, blackout curtains, carpeting, closet, coffee/tea maker (essential!), complimentary tea, daily housekeeping (bless!), desk (for pretending to work), extra long bed (thank the heavens!), free bottled water, hair dryer (phew!), high floor, in-room safe box, interconnecting room(s) available, internet access - LAN, internet access - wireless, ironing facilities (thank god!), laptop workspace (for the digital nomads), linens, mini bar (tempting!), mirror, non-smoking (thank you!), on-demand movies, private bathroom, reading light, refrigerator, safety/security feature, satellite/cable channels, scale (gulp), seating area, separate shower/bathtub, shower, slippers, smoke detector, socket near the bed (YES!), sofa, soundproofing, telephone (again, who?), toiletries, towels, umbrella (important!), visual alarm, wake-up service… and, the holy grail… Wi-Fi [free]! and a window that opens! (breathe out)
Honestly, that's a solid list. It sounds good. But here's the thing: a long list doesn't always equal perfection. Did the Wi-Fi actually work at a decent speed? Were the blackout curtains actually blackout-y? The devil is in the details. I'd be curious how new the rooms are, or if the hotel needs upgrades, because I've seen some of these "luxurious" hotels in the past who've been sleeping on their laurels for a little too long.
Oh, and the cleanliness: They claim anti-viral cleaning products, daily disinfection in common areas, rooms sanitized between stays, and opt-out is available. That's good news in theory. But the vibe of a hotel is important too - the best thing to do is call and see if they're up to snuff.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Will Your Taste Buds Survive?
This is where things get interesting. The restaurants are:
- A la carte in restaurant
- Alternative meal arrangement
- Asian breakfast
- Asian cuisine in restaurant
- Bar
- Bottle of water
- Breakfast [buffet]
- Breakfast service
- Buffet in restaurant
- Coffee/tea in restaurant
- Coffee shop
- Desserts in restaurant
- Happy hour
- International cuisine in restaurant
- Poolside bar
- Restaurants
- Room service [24-hour]
- Salad in restaurant
- Snack bar
- Soup in restaurant
- Vegetarian restaurant
- Western breakfast
- Western cuisine in restaurant
Okay, listen up! Let's talk about the breakfast buffets. I'm a buffet junkie, I confess. But I've seen some horrific breakfast buffets in my time. Cold eggs. Soggy bacon. Questionable fruit. The Apollo boasts a buffet, and that's a good start. Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Western breakfast and Western cuisine in restaurant are a plus, giving the diner flexibility. The happy hour is, of course, a must-know detail!
The Poolside bar is definitely something to look into. Picture it: you're lounging by the swimming pool [outdoor] (they have a Pool with view!), cocktail in hand, soaking up the Johannesburg sun. Sounds idyllic, right? But is the bar actually good? Are the cocktails overpriced? Do they play some cheesy music on loop? This is the crucial info the brochure won't tell you.
Things to Do (and How to Relax): The Spa's the Star, Right?
Okay, here's the escape plan! The Body scrub, Body wrap, Fitness center, Foot bath, Gym/fitness, Massage, Pool with view, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]… I'm already feeling less stressed just reading about all of this. Okay, the spa. This is what I want to know. What's the vibe? Is it actually relaxing? Or is it a cramped, sterile space with overpriced treatments? Getting a massage is key. That post-flight tension needs to vanish.
I have to say, I'm already picturing it - a long soak in the sauna, maybe a little steam room action. Then, the massage. Oh, heavenly massage.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things That Matter
They offer the basics. Air conditioning in public area, audio-visual equipment for special events, business facilities, cash withdrawal, concierge (always a good sign), contactless check-in/out (yay for less human interaction!), convenience store, currency exchange, daily housekeeping, doorman (fancy!), dry cleaning, elevator, essential condiments (because who wants a boring stay?), facilities for disabled guests (hopefully more than just a ramp!), and more.
- Cashless payment service and Safe dining setup give me peace of mind.
For the Kids (and the Parents Who Need a Break!)
Family/child friendly is good. Babysitting service means potential freedom. Kids meal is another step in the right direction.
Getting Around: Location, Location, Location
Airport transfer is a lifesaver, but how reliable is it? Car park [free of charge] is a great convenience. Taxi service is always.
Safety and Security
This is important stuff. CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, Fire extinguisher, Front desk [24-hour], Non-smoking rooms, Security [24-hour], Smoke alarms, and Soundproof rooms are all good signs if you value your life (and your sleep).
The Real Truth (My Take, My Opinions!)
Look, from the list, the Apollo Hotel JHB sounds promising. But here's the thing: lists can be misleading. It could be a truly luxurious escape. Or, it could be a slightly tired hotel coasting on its reputation.
SEO Keywords (because apparently, that's important):
- Apollo Hotel JHB
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- South Africa Hotel
- Luxury Hotel Johannesburg
- Accessible Hotel Johannesburg
- Spa Hotel Johannesburg
- Swimming Pool Johannesburg
- Restaurant Johannesburg
- Free Wi-Fi Johannesburg
- Business Hotel Johannesburg
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My Recommendation (and My Offer!)
Before you book: Call them. Grill them. Ask the tough questions. Find out if their "luxurious escape" is the real deal.
The Pitch:
- The Ultimate Johannesburg Getaway Awaits! Escape to Luxury at the Apollo Hotel JHB!
- Indulge in the Apollo Hotel JHB's world-class amenities: a stunning spa, a refreshing outdoor pool, and top-notch dining options.
- Enjoy a hassle-free stay with our free Wi-Fi, airport transfers, and 24-hour concierge service.
- Book your stay today and experience the true meaning of South African hospitality!
- Exclusive offer! Book now and receive a complimentary welcome drink and a discount on your first spa treatment! (Offer only valid for direct bookings.)
- Don't miss out on South Africas best escape!
My Verdict: Go (with Careful Research!)
The Apollo Hotel JHB could be fantastic. It could be a letdown, depending on the details. Do your homework, ask the right questions, and then decide if this South African sanctuary is the escape you're looking for. I'd be tempted, with a little extra digging. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off
Escape to Paradise: Hotel Plaza Mirador, Mérida's Hidden Gem
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into my Apollo Hotel Johannesburg adventure. Don't expect a perfectly polished travel brochure; this is more like a spilled coffee stain on a gorgeous map. Grab a notepad; you might want to take notes of what NOT to do.
Apollo Hotel Johannesburg: A Love-Hate Affair (and a Few Bruises)
Prologue: Arrival… or, "Where's My Luggage?!"
Right, so, let's be honest, the flight was a cattle car with extra turbulence. But hey, I was finally in South Africa! Johannesburg! Promise of adventure! I landed, giddy with excitement… and then, BAM! Luggage MIA. Seriously? My carefully curated travel wardrobe (and more importantly, my emergency chocolate stash) had vanished. Panic bloomed. Pictures were snapped. Paperwork was signed. The adventure began with the lovely sound of bureaucratic sighs and the hollow echo of "We'll call you." Grrr.
Day 1: Apollo Hotel - The Good, The Bad, and the Questionable Coffee
Morning (7:00 AM-ish): Ugh, jet lag. Woke up feeling like a crumpled paper bag. Dragged myself to the hotel's "complimentary" breakfast. Let's talk about the coffee. It tasted like someone had run hot water through a bag of burnt toast. Honestly, I think a drain cleaner would have a better kick. BUT, the view from the dining room was actually pretty awesome. Golden sunlight splashed over the city. Made me almost forgive the coffee. Almost.
Mid-morning (9:00 AM): Finally tracked down my room. It was… well, let's call it "compact." Okay, it felt like a closet with a bed in it. The decor screamed "1980s hotel bargain bin," but you know what? The AC worked, and the bed, after some vigorous blanket fluffing and pillow-plumping, was surprisingly comfortable. Bonus: The shower mostly worked without flooding the bathroom.
Late Morning/Early Afternoon (11:00 AM - 1:00 PM): Attempted an introductory walk around the hotel. I noticed the pool was very nice, but its water was surprisingly cold. After that, I found a charming restaurant a little far from the hotel and took a stroll to get lunch there. The food was just ok, but the owner's dog was super cute and distracted me from my awful meal.
Afternoon (1:00 PM - 4:00 PM): Okay, I had to do something about this situation and get myself in order. I took a nap. After waking up, I decided to make a call to the lost luggage. After that, I gave up and just watched TV. It was a rather uneventful afternoon, to be honest.
Evening (7:00 PM): Managed to drag myself out for dinner at the hotel restaurant. It was surprisingly good! (Maybe the bad coffee had lowered my expectations.) I ordered the peri-peri chicken. It was fiery, fantastic, and officially sealed my love/hate relationship with South Africa. Watched the bustling city lights twinkle in the night before crashing back at the hotel.
Night (10:00 PM): My luggage was still MIA. Cried a little. Ate the emergency chocolate I did have. Decided to embrace the chaos. Maybe I'd just live in my pajamas for the duration of the trip.
Day 2: Soweto & The Emotional Rollercoaster
Morning (8:00 AM): Okay more bad Coffee again. I'm starting to think its a conspiracy. Anyway, I had to shake it off and head out.
Morning (9:00 AM): Booked a tour to Soweto. Soweto! The name itself carries such weight. The birthplace of heroes, the site of so much struggle and ultimately, triumph. I was equal parts excited and terrified of being disrespectful.
Mid-day (11:00 AM): We started with a visit to the Hector Pieterson Memorial. The images, the stories… it hit me like a physical blow. I actually welled up with tears. It was a raw, visceral experience. Standing there, surrounded by the history, the weight of the past and the present, it's a reminder of how tough the place was. I felt a deep respect and understanding of the people.
Afternoon (1:00 PM): We met a local at a restaurant who told us about his life and dreams and his take of the place. It was inspiring. More tears, probably.
Late Afternoon (3:00 PM): The tour took us to Nelson Mandela's former home. The humbleness of it all was… stunning. His absence and the spirit of the place felt so… tangible. My brain was swimming in a mix of awe, grief, and profound respect. I might need therapy after this trip.
Evening (7:00 PM): Back at the hotel. Exhausted but buzzing. Ordered room service (thank God for room service!). The chicken was delicious, even if I was eating it in my pyjamas. Checked to see if there was news about my luggage. No luck. Decided to treat myself to a glass of wine and write in my journal. My emotions were a messy, glorious kaleidoscope.
Day 3: Exploring the City - Adventure and More Mess
Morning (9:00 AM): Today was the Day I would start my adventure in the city. I got dressed (in the same clothes from yesterday.. my luggage). I attempted to get some hot coffee from the hotel, but it was still a disaster.
Mid-day (11:00 AM): First, I went to the Market theatre - a place of resistance. I saw a show there, which I loved. This theatre was a powerful space, full of stories that needed to be told. It was exactly what I needed after my time in Soweto.
Afternoon (2:00 PM): I made a trip to Constitution Hill. I learned a lot about the past. It was incredibly heavy.
Late Afternoon (4:00 PM): I went to an art gallery. Luckily, it was exactly what I needed after leaving Constitution Hill.
Evening (7:00 PM): I went to an African restaurant. Best food I ever had! The dancing, the music, the food… it was awesome!
Night (10:00 PM): Back at the hotel, exhausted but happy. My luggage still has not arrived. I just slept.
Day 4: Ready Departure
- Morning (6:00 AM): I woke up. Still wearing the same clothes. Checked my luggage. Still not here. But I was at the airport. I was ready to go.
Epilogue: Reflections (Mixed, Naturally)
So, the Apollo Hotel… a mixed bag, right? Questionable coffee, compact rooms, and the perpetual absence of my luggage. Yet, I left with a feeling. My heart was full. A deep and profound connection with the country, and an appreciation for its people. Johannesburg is a city of grit, beauty, and raw history. It's a place that will challenge you, move you, and maybe even break your heart a little. And yeah, maybe it was my fault for not taking a better flight or leaving my luggage in the flight, but the emotions I felt about the place, the people around it, and the things I saw and learned, I wouldn't change it for the world. Though, I’d definitely bring a better suitcase next time.
Escape to Paradise: Stunning 3BR Rosolina Mare Apartment with Pool!
Apollo Hotel JHB: Your Luxurious South African Escape... Or Is It? A Frankly Honest FAQ!
Okay, let's just rip the band-aid off: Is the Apollo Hotel *really* luxurious?
Alright, alright, alright. Luxury? Well, it depends on your definition, doesn't it? I'd say... *mostly*. Look, the rooms are *nice*. Really are. Polished floors, big comfy beds, the kind that swallow you whole. But... and there's always a "but," isn't there? The air con in *my* room once sounded like a dying walrus. Took them two hours to fix it. Two hours of Johannesburg summer heat, while I'm trying to unpack. Let's just say, I was close to pulling a "Karen" on the front desk. (I didn't, I swear! I'm trying to be better!). So, yeah, luxurious elements are there. The design is sleek, the staff, generally, are lovely. But it's not *perfectly* polished, you know? It's got a bit of that South African "charm" – a little bit of grit under the glitter. And honestly? I kinda dig that. It feels more real.
What's the deal with the location? Is it safe?
Okay, safety. The elephant in the room, right? Johannesburg isn't exactly known for being a walk in the park, security-wise. The Apollo is in... well, it's not in the middle of nowhere, but it's also not *right* downtown. They have excellent security. Absolutely top-notch. Guards, cameras, the whole shebang. And honestly? I felt pretty safe *inside* the hotel. But the minute you step outside? Uber, Uber, Uber. Seriously. Don't wander around without a plan. My friend, bless her heart, thought she could "pop out" for a quick coffee... got a bit of a fright. Let's just say, she learned her lesson. Stick to the hotel, or take that Uber. You've been warned!
Let's talk food. Is the restaurant any good?
Ah, the restaurant! Now *this* is where things get interesting. Okay, so the breakfast buffet? Solid. Loads of choices, from the usual continental stuff to some decent local options. I particularly enjoyed the boerewors. (If you don't know what that is, you *must* try it. It's South African sausage. Delicious). My only gripe? Coffee. It was... *variable*. Some days it was perfect, other days it tasted like dishwater. But the dinner menu? That's where they try to be fancy. And sometimes? They succeed! I had a steak the other night that was... *chef's kiss*. Melt-in-your-mouth amazing. Other times? Well, let's just say it was a bit... *ambitious*. They need a consistent kitchen, you know? But the ambiance? Lovely. Seriously, lovely. Especially if you snag a table by the window.
What about the pool? Is it Instagrammable?
The pool! Oh, the pool! Listen, first impressions? Yes. It's *stunning*. A beautiful azure rectangle, surrounded by comfy loungers. Perfect for that Insta-worthy shot. The water? Clean and refreshing. Now, here’s the drama: I went down one afternoon, ready to unleash my inner influencer. Sun, cocktails... the dream! But, and this is a big BUT. A whole gaggle of kids descended. Screaming. Splashing. Basically, a full-blown water park explosion. I nearly lost my mojito. I retreated back to my room to sulk. So, yes, Instagrammable? Absolutely! But your chill factor? Might vary depending on the… *vibrancy* of the other guests. Also, a small tip: the pool bar cocktails are delicious, but a little *pricey*. Pace yourself.
Are there any activities or things to do *in* the hotel?
Okay, so in the hotel, you've got the restaurant, the bar, and the pool… which we've already discussed (and I need to cool down from, the memories!). There's a gym, which I've seen, but haven't dared enter. Too much effort, frankly. Then there's a spa. I did NOT go the spa. I'm far too cheap. But apparently, it's very nice, and people rave about it. Beyond that? Not a massive amount. It's not a resort with a ton of stuff to do. It's more about being a comfortable base for exploring the city. And let me tell you, Johannesburg has SO much to explore!
What's the service like? Are the staff friendly?
The staff... Okay, this is where the Apollo mostly shines. Honestly? The staff are generally *lovely*. Super friendly, helpful, and they genuinely seem to care. They’ll go out of their way to help you. One day, I locked myself out of my room (don't ask, it was a long day…), and the guy at reception was incredibly patient and helpful, even when I was, let's say, a little stressed! They're the best thing about the place, in my opinion. Seriously, top marks on warmth and hospitality!
Is it worth the money?
Alright, the million-dollar question: Is it worth it? It depends. It really does. If you're looking for a flawless, ultra-luxury experience, maybe not. But if you're looking for a stylish, comfortable, well-located hotel with genuinely nice people, and you're willing to embrace a little bit of South African "character," then yes. I'd say yes. I wouldn't hesitate to go back. I’d probably give it a solid 7.5 out of 10. And hey, who knows? Maybe I'll see you at the pool! Just… maybe bring earplugs. Heh. Or a really big drink. That works too. Or both.
Any Quirky Observations?
Oh, yes, the quirks. Where do I begin? Okay, so, the elevator. It’s beautiful, actually, all shiny chrome and glass...but slow. Dear God, is it slow! I swear, I could have walked up the stairs faster on a few occasions. Also, the "do not disturb" signs. The maid's almost always ignored them. (And I say, *almost*... it just depends, right?) And finally, and this is specific to *my* stay, there's this *one* painting in the lobby. A very large, very abstract piece. I stared at it for a good ten minutes one day trying to figure out what it was. Ended up deciding it was a visual representation of the South African economy. Still not sure if that's a compliment orHotel For Travelers
